Updated: Oct 19, 2020
We are inclined to measure our self-worth, our self-esteem, in part by the words other people have expressed, either to us or about us.
You are beautiful.
Descriptive words such as beautiful invoke a personal definition, an interpretation that has been conditioned through years of experiences and interactions. Life would be so grand if we recognized the beauty in each other, and perceived as truth all compliments given. Look intimately inward. Can you see and feel how beautiful you are?
Self-esteem is a collective word incorporating self-respect, confidence in our abilities, and the value we place upon ourselves. It encompasses recognizing our inherent intelligence and finding our unique strengths. It embodies worthiness, that which we feel worthy of receiving. Are we worthy of good fortune? Do we feel worthy of the love others share with us?
Your life’s path has taken you through situations that have tested your performance and challenged what you believe you have deserved. Performance is our behavior shown to others, yet by which we also judge and measure ourselves. Should we be rewarded for excellent performance? Do we deserve to be punished for bad performance? We may even allow those after effects, the good feelings of Rewards and those tough feelings of Punishments, to place value on our self-esteem. Treasure this thought: Worthiness requires claiming our abundance of love and good fortune without judging whether we deserve it. No judgements.
Self-discovery and self-development explore the three pillars of worthiness:
Self-valuation - What do you value about yourself? How deserving do you feel about good fortune coming your way? Embrace the truth that you are worthy and deserving of the abundant goodness and beauty the world has to offer. You are unique, and your nature is excellence. You have so much to offer.
Self-competence - How good are you at what you do in life? You are met with expectations in each role you perform at work, at home, and within the many relationships you develop. Those expectations are most often formed by societal or organizational cultures. Our driving force is to try and try until we are good at what we do.
Self-affiliation - Who shares your life? This component of your self-esteem is a reflection of the quality of people you have chosen to share your life with, and the obligations within each relationship. Culture may provide guidelines about whom you should choose, but human nature may lead you to choose others.
These three pillars of worthiness: self-valuation, self-competence, and self-affiliation, are interrelated and inseparable from self-esteem. It is possible to be highly effective in one area, yet need to build strength within the other areas. Achieving a balance within all three pillars opens our hearts and minds to accept the inherent abundance of health, wealth, and love. It is then we can value who we are, what we do, and who we choose to love.
While we feel a belongingness to the world and acknowledge our unique being within it, we know we have much to offer and much to receive. Explore your inner world, your intrinsic valuations, competence, and affiliations. Release judgements. Strive to live from your center of beautiful joy.
Step into your excellence!
What words best describe you?
What is your most beloved role in life?
Is there a pillar of worthiness you would like help with?
Are you able to say Thank You in response to a compliment?
Do you accept that you are worthy of abundant goodness?
As the basis of much of my work is biocognition, I want to note that this reflection comes from the invitation to live Beyond the Merit Model - a concept coined and taught by my mentor, Dr. Mario Martinez. I invite you to read the article.
This blog post was crafted in collaboration with Scriptive Essentials.